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Sunday
Jan292012

"Don't Quit": The poem that got me through many a hard time...

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, 
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, 
When the funds are low and the debts are high, 
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, 
When care is pressing you down a bit, 
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is strange with its twists and turns, 
As every one of us sometimes learns, 
And many a failure turns about, 
When he might have won had he stuck it out; 
Don't give up though the pace seems slow-- 
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out-- 
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, 
And you never can tell how close you are, 
It may be near when it seems so far, 
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-- 
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

 

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My mom had this poem displayed in the house while growing up. I didn't notice it until one day I was going through it, and I looked up and saw it. I really SAW what the poem was trying to tell me. From then on, every time I walked past the poem I'd read it and meditate on it. 

Monday
Feb282011

10 Reasons to Date a Black Woman

My friend Pages (@pagesofle) did a google search on the phrase "reasons to date a Black woman." He states:

Apparently, when you type "10 reasons to date a black girl" on google the first thing that comes up is...you guessed it..."Top 10 reasons why it's HARD to date a Black woman" followed by 10 reasons to not date a geek, 10 reasons to not date a Black man, and 8 reasons to date a White woman. I am at page 7 on google and I still haven't come up on a single hit of or in semblance to "10 reasons to date a Black woman." SMH. So after over 25 hits on reasons to date a White man, to even dating a vampire, gamer & cheerleaders, on page 9 I got one website. It wasn't even 10 reasons. It's "8 reasons to date/marry a Black woman." Damn, Black women couldn't even get 10, just a cool eight.


So I decided to give Google some help, especially since, I myself am a Black Woman and I'm wonderful to date. lol. I'm also tired of hearing what's WRONG with us and  not what's RIGHT with us. Some of these are of course stereotypes. No race is COMPLETELY one thing. There's crazy all all fronts and sides of the spectrum, just as there are nice women of varied races as well. So please no one get at me and say that their White or Korean mother has these traits, too. I'm sure they do. More power to ya. Here goes!

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10 Reasons to Date a Black Woman

1) She won't let anyone disrespect her, her children, or even you for that matter. Folk like to talk about a Black Woman's "rage." I'd like to say, we're extremely protective of the ones we love, including ourselves. This trait may have been  inherited from the slaves that had to watch their loved ones be sold and taken away. Who knows? But I DO know, if you need someone to get a brick and vaseline on your behalf, a Black woman is down for the cause. We love hard. We love gangsta.

2) Ain't nothing like the real thing, baby! While other races are tanning themselves into Carrot Top, injecting curves, buying "Booty Pop" butt pads, adding collagen to make thin lips fuller, we've had these traits naturally for centuries. Imagine, the same body parts we were ridiculed for and told were ugly are considered "desirable" and "beautiful." My hips are hip now! We're the original and the original is wayyyy softer than the artificial. (Anyone who's fallen asleep on or clutching a Black woman's booty will confirm.) We may not get our hair wet, but we look damn good in a bathing suit.

3) We have Superwoman tendencies. The phrase Strong Black Woman comes to mind. An expert at multi-tasking, very driven and passionate about their career, and still looking for love amidst all of this. We love to save others and put others before ourselves, sometimes to our own detriment. Funny observation: I remember a White girlfriend of mine called me crying once. I was instantly on my feet. "What happened? You okay?" She sobs, "Yes...It's just that...my boyfriend Cory can't get into any of his classes in college, so he's gonna have to stay an extra year. He just doesn't know what to do." I paused..."Um, so why are you crying?" "It's just heartbreaking. He's so worried." It was then I understood it. While others are empathetic, Black woman are sympathetic. Our first instinct is not to feel your pain, but to understand and figure out how to fix your pain. ("Baby, have you talked to the registrar? Don't worry, it'll be okay. Let me make dinner.") 

4) No one can wear copper or orange like a brown-skinned and dark-skinned sista. Certain things just look awesome on our skin tone which varies so much that we had to have our own make-up be created. The colors 'light,' 'medium,' and 'dark' are extremely vague when it comes to the skin of a Black female. The plethora of shades we come in make a 96 piece Crayola box look like the 4-pack little kids get at TGI Fridays.

5) Stimulating discussions. They call it having an attitude. I call it having an opinion. No push-overs here. We want to be respected for our minds and intelligence. If you're like Prince Hakim from Zamunda, you can appreciate a woman who brings out the hunter in you and doesn't just give you "Whatever you like" and won't "Bark like a dog. A really BIG dog." 

6) She's going to push you to be your best. Black Women look at things as a WE situation. You do well, we do well. It's not about finding flaws, it's about her seeing the strength and ability inside of you and helping you reach your full potential. 

7) The Queens of Alternative Medicine. If you're sick, getting sick, or don't want to be sick, and you've dated a Black woman, you've probably heard "Okay, drink this." The Black community has a long history of passing down old remedies for anything that ails you. Orange peel, molasses, Ferrol Compound, Scotts Emulsion, and Caraili bush fill her cabinets to help anything that ails you. 

8) Black love is beautiful. Something about watching Will & Jada, Barack and Michelle, Laurence and Gina, Tisha and Duane, Ozzie Davis and Ruby Dee, Denzel and Pauletta, even Beyonce & Jay-Z at a basketball game, just looks sooooo beautiful.

9) Black and anything else is beautiful as well. Statistics say Black female-White male marriages show substantially lower rates of divorce than White-White marriages. Robin Thicke KNOWS he's a lucky man (Paula Patton is GORGEOUS). Robert DeNiro, George Lucas, Wolfgang Puck, Roger Ebert, Justin Chambers, Chris "Mr Big" Noth, David Bowie, and more are all down with loving tha sisters.

10) She's looking for love. With all the talk of the "single Black female," we see a group of women open to giving herself and her love to someone. Black women have made books on dating and intimacy bestsellers; one would like to think that they believe they are in training to make someone very happy. They realize that as successful or complete as they are, there is a need for someone to share it with. Who better but you?

Tuesday
Mar232010

Crushing Hard (New Poem Live from the Nuyorican Poets Cafe)

Reminiscing on crushes throughout life. I'm soooo nostalgic! :)

Wednesday
Dec162009

Shanelle Gabriel performing "Loving You" by Alicia Keys

Live Performance at Public Assembly in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY

Friday
Jun192009

New Poem/Song? "Heart Speaks"

I wrote most of this a while back, but my heart told me to revise it. Here you go.

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HEART SPEAKS

When the sun isn't shining
It's hard for raindrops to turn into rainbows
When life is out of place it's hard to find
Where the silver lining goes

When it's silent around you
It's hard to turn a deaf ear
To the loneliness whispering that
No one around you cares

When you bend to much for everyone
You tend to break
When you're too cautious
It's so easy to make a fatal mistake
When you think it's all figured out
You'll find a piece is missing
When you get everything you want
You still can't stop wishing

So when is it enough
When will it be enough
To settle down?
I'm looking for the missing part of me
Trying my best to do what's best for me
Will I ever be complete?
I'm waiting to hear my heart speak.

I'm sending my prayers up
Praying for an answer to come down
Preaching to the lost
When I'm the one who needs to be found

Doubting my intuition
Even though it's always right
Holding myself back
When I know I'm meant to reach great heights.

How am I trying to change the world
When I need to change myself
Want to do this on my own
Yet I know I need help
But it seems easier to rely only on self
Cause you've been let down so much by everyone else

But no one reached great heights
Without standing on some shoulders
I've climbed some mountains in my life
But I'm struggling with boulders
One day it'll all make sense
I guess when I'm much older
But for now I'm fighting
To keep my heart from growing colder

So when is it enough
When will it be enough
To settle down?
I'm looking for the missing part of me
Trying my best to do what's best for me
Will I ever be complete?
I'm waiting to hear my heart speak.


I can hear it talking to me
Talking to me
I hear it saying "listen to me, listen to me"
I hear it saying "trust me, trust me"
It's telling me to believe in me, believe in me.

Now I've had enough
It is enough
Time to settle down
I've found the missing part of me
I'm gonna be the best me I can be
In myself I can be complete
But it's okay to need company.
The hurt, I can set free.
My past is what made me.
I recognize when my heart speaks.

I listen when my heart speaks
I act when my heart speaks
When God speaks to me my heart speaks.

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Copyright © 2009 Shanelle Gabriel
Do not reproduce without Shanelle Gabriel's permission. Thanks!